A letter to Ramaa...(fiction)

Bells rang yesterday, indicating an interval in our life’sdrama. We shared our fates for twenty five years and hope we can add another twentyfive to the total. Oh! My darling! I wish we were together yesterday. I amdying here without you. I know that you must also have written a letter to me.Your coming in my dreams is not enough now.

 I still remember theday, when I had come to see you officially at your parent’s house in Madras. Youwere wearing peacock blue colored saree.You were looking wonderful and I just could not take eyes off you. You had got me stumped right there inour first encounter. I had fallen for you. 

Ramaa, you came into my life, and life started breathing. Ihad always heard that on this planet every soul has a partner waiting for itsomewhere. We just need to search for our mate. And anyone who honestly triesto pursue his soul mate, either finds one or finds the god. I still wonder thathow could have I been so lucky to find you waiting for me. This questionhaunted me for many nights after our marriage. I used to feel very insecure in thosedays. But you respected me more than I ever did. You made me what I am today.Every day was not thriving and every year was not warm, but somehow we met lifeeverywhere. We greeted our joys and understood our sorrows. We embraced thepossible and emancipated ourselves from routines. We found our own space inthis world. 

Can yourecall the moment when we were in Goa for our honeymoon, resting ourselves bythe shore of the Arabian Sea? We were nervous and afraid of each other’sunknown psyche.

I said “I am scared.”

“Of what?”  You asked.

“I don’t know” I mumbled.

“I am scared too”

“Of what?”   

“I don’t know either”

“Let’s get scared together!”

I looked atyou and smiled. Then we smiled. I grabbed your hand. The strong wind from westmade us close our eyes, but I could still see you with closed eyes.

Years passedwith the speed of light. We fought with each other and with life too. We caredfor each other. We gave each other pain which we still feel deep inside ourhearts. We lied to each other to bring happiness. We saw through each other’sselves. But, when I stopped, you got me moving. When I ran, you did hold me. WhenI cried, you comforted me. You were always there when I needed you.

Californiais good. Weather is pathetic. You would have loved the lavish gardens of thisstate. Prathamesh is fine. You made him what he is today the way you had mademe once. Even in California he embraces the Indian values and follows yourprinciples. You are a wonderful mother. I was always busy with my work and neverdid I appreciate your job as a mother. I am feeling very relieved as I amsaying these things which I could never express in the right sense. I wish youwere here. I am feeling this pain of longing for the first time in my life.Though, there were days when we were apart, I could never understand your significancein my life. But this time I am very far from you yet closer than I ever was.

Ramaa, this is thefirst time I am writing a letter to you. Yes, I could call you but I thoughtthe words will hold more power and expression if written down. Thank you forbeing in my life. I love you more than anything I ever loved. I know, afterreading this letter you will blush. Take a picture of yourself flushing andemail me. I want the latest one. Take care of yourself. Good bye.